11 December 2004 - League
Darkside 1 v Refectory Sports Res 5
Team: Andy B, Andy R, Ben E, DanS, French Dan, Errol, Jim, John, Mark, Omer, Phill, Tim
Goals: Dan S / Assists: Mark / MOTM: Ben E / MM: French Dan

In what has been a difficult few weeks for Darkside football club, the prospect of ending their 3 match losing run was all the motivation the players needed going into the clash with Refectory Sports on Saturday. The team's preparations were not helped by late injuries to Little Ben and Emmon Simbo, but the mood in the dressing room was optimistic. While those on Merseyside may have been distracted by the petty squabbling's of their own derby match, the eyes of the rest of the country were firmly set on Surbiton, to see whether Darkside could regain their magic touch against their uncompromising local rivals.

Refectory Sports lined up with a continental sweeper system, with a defence controlled by a perma-tanned sweeper/hardman. Highly vocal, he was determined to show off his cutting edge knowledge of the beautiful game, in all probability acquired from watching 'Your on Sky Sports' down the local tanning shop. Darkside adopted a more conventional 4-4-2 model, a tactic which seemed to be working as they controlled the early exchanges and soon found themselves ahead through a classic set-piece. A long throw from Hunter into the box was cleverly dummied by two Darkside players before it found it's way to the far post where the eagerly awaiting Dan Swain supplied the finish.

All neutral observers expected this to be a signal of the onslaught to follow (and in a way in was) but Refectory Sports proved to be made of sterner stuff. Darkside continued to press forward but just couldn't find that elusive second goal. Refectory's equaliser owed more to good fortune than to sublime skill and when it came it was dramatically against the run of play. However they all count and Refectory thought they'd got a second just before half time before the referee, consulting linesman Errol Warman on the touchline, disallowed it, much to the disappointment of the Refectory management.

Almost as soon as the second half had begun, French Dan's handball just inside the penalty box gave the visitors a penalty which they duely converted to make the score 2-1. Darkside immediately brought on Errol Warman to provide some more firepower down the left and ploy almost worked straight away as he carved out several through balls to provide chances for the Darkside forwards. By this point, Darkside were committing more men forward to find the equalising goal and Refectory began to grow in confidence upon their attacks. A possibly offside goal and a further penalty took the score to 4-1.

By now it was clear that the otherwise vigilant and fair referee possessed a bit of a fetish for giving dodgy penalties and this was further exposed when another penalty was given after one of the Refectory forwards fell over in the box. This was graciously converted by the Refectory goalkeeper, though his moment was slightly spoiled as he fell on his backside trying to perform a Lomano Lua-Lua celebration.

The scores ended 5-1, a scoreline harsh on Darkside who for much of the match had been the better team. The only real difference between the teams was Refectory's Michael Owen-like ability to win penalities and their German-like ability to convert them.

Match report by: Andy B