04 February 2006 - League
Darkside 14 v Westside III 1
Team: Adrian, Alan, Ant, Chris, Craig, Dan B, Dan S, Eddie, Ian, Mike, Steve, Tim, Wooly
Goals: Dan S x4, Mike x3, Tim x3, Craig, Alan, OG x2 / Assists: Craig x3, Steve x2, Dan x2, Wooly x2, Ant x2, Opposition x2 / MOTM: Tim / MM: ?

After a despicable “must-win” game the previous week in which we lost 1-2, the Darkside boys turned up to Victoria Reserve for the “really-must-win-we-really-mean-it” game against bottom of the ladder Westfield III.

The Westfield boys lined up in their fetching Canary Yellow outfits accessorised nicely with scarves, headbands and red (ruby slippers?) boots. What a Nancy! The game kicked off and was practically over after 10 minutes. Darkside ran the game and, in the absence of any real pressure, managed goals from Tim, Mike and an OG, leaving Westfield stunned and praying for a natural disaster of any kind. The only disaster to ensue, however, was Westfield’s lack of any football ability as Tim, Craig and Steve bossed the midfield to set up further goals.

Wooly volunteered to keep in the first half and managed (barely) to stay awake through the lack of participation in the game, although there were some admirable moments of unorthodox keeping. The back line of Adrian, Frenchy, The Kid and Ed cleared all Westfield could muster, and started some good attacking moves from the back. At halftime it must have been 6 or 7 nil, it was lucky that Phill brought a comfy chair.

Darkside were now kicking down the hill and the hunger was still there. Could we beat the record of goals scored in a game? Wool exchanged tops with Ed and managed to play in all positions on the left flank and, with a shoot-on-sight attitude, unbelievably hit all parts of the goal except the net. Goals were raining in at this stage with Dan, Mike and Tim getting in on the action – although some nice saves, mystery bobbles and some wicked air turbulence prevented Darkside putting a cricket score on the board. Westfield did have a bright point, however when “Superboots” struck a speculative 30 yarder to beat Ed at the near post via a deflection. It really didn’t matter though, as Darkside continued to dominate with Alan and substitutes Ant and Ian all contributing to the onslaught.

The whistle blew, Westfield trudged off heads down. The Darkside boys “congratulated” them on a fine game and went off to the Black Monkey to celebrate the record beating performance.

The performance at the pub was equally special, Minty still couldn’t score despite talking a good game, Phill brought his own chair but still managed to occupy two others, Craig and Adrian, holding get out of jail free cards, managed to drink for all those absent plus a little more and manager Neil never did get out of that baggy red jumper.

Same again next week thanks boys – again a must win against a team we know we can beat. Promotion may still be there if we want it.

Match report by: Craig