Ben Saunders
Defence

Football: Following early retirement taken between the ages of 14 to 20, this exciting, young, pacy all-rounder (quoted in July 1989), has returned to the sport and the hallowed turfs of Balaclava Park. The appeal of playing for one’s youthful drinking hole was too much of a draw to turn down and the signing of the official FA payment/ waiver wasn’t far behind.

Famed for a personal goal tally of 0 (1 goal, 1 own goal) in 7 years with Hook Youth FC, Ben (no relation to Dean) has opted for a more forward facing role at Darkside for the 05/06 season. However, scoring has always proved to be a well avoided subject for Saunders and it is clear to see his disappointment with every chance that goes begging.

An inspiration in training, proof that his claim of 'I'm better at 5-a-side' is most probably true, Ben always puts in 100%, but could speak up more (taken from a school report aged 9). With an aging frame, or so it feels, 5-a-side may soon be his only escape, unless the cramps subside and the goals start to flow.

Hobbies: Photography, travelling, live music - alternative and rock - and sport. Plus keeping this site looking chuffing good, following on from Ben E's good work!

Best chat up line: What's a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?

Best joke: No matter how bad things are, you could always be an egg. You only get laid once, smashed once, and the only bird to sit on your face is your mother!