Dave Anderson
Forward

Football: An explosive concoction of blistering pace and mindless disorientation, welsh wizard Dave Anderson, the Abergavenny Assassin, is usually wondering what he's going to have for tea by 3:30pm. Lethal from around about the corner flag, but don't bet your house when he's 30cm from the goalline. In fine weather, a joy to behold, in bad weather he's usually watching Grandstand or Lovejoy. 

Hobbies: Contemporary dance, shouting at traffic, haircuts, long walks, Bristol.

Best chat up line: "Can I smell your bottom?" "No" "Oh it must be your breath".

Best joke: (Only joke he can remember): First time I used a condom it broke, and all my shopping fell out.