Tim Gale
Midfield

Football: Having turned down the opportunity of (short term) European football at Goodison Park this season, he agreed to a long term Darkside contract in the exciting KDL division 5 for another season.

A versatile midfielder come striker, looking to add to his presigous, and much coverted, close season award of Best Hair cut, he’ll hope to let his feet do the talking this season..

Now classed as a veteren of the side, into his second Darkside season, has been robbed of his none existant pace, but the skill, awareness and creativity, in the Bergkamp mould, is still there for all to see.

With only 2 goals to his name last season, he’ll be looking for an improved return for an attacking berth in the side.

Hobbies: Football, gambling, Everton, gardening, The Gym.

Best chat up line: I have no need for a chat up line, my natural beauty, incredible girth and outstanding stamina in the bedroom has put me on the brink of marriage!

Best joke: A brain and a jump lead go into a pub and order some drinks. The barman says "I'm not serving you two!" "Why?" asked the brain. The barman replies, "Because you are out of your skull and he is bound to start something."